Annonce
Satanic Magic Against the Preacher’s Son
The other day, as I was reading through some old diaries from my high school time, I found a couple of funny pages that I’d like to share. But first they need a small introduction…
In Herning, the city I grew up in, the congregational hall of the Indre Mission (a fundamentalist, Christian church) is as big as city hall and the two buildings are placed right next to each other. That says a lot about Herning. One day I was really angry with the fundamentalists and I took a blue spray-paint and wrote on their house:
“God is dead. And we killed him.”
I don’t know how Herning is today. And I don’t know anyone from back then anymore. Everyone probably changed a lot. And Herning probably changed too. But back then everything was very Christian. It wasn’t always something people talked about, but it penetrated everything like wind. Luckily, my family and my friends weren’t too Christian. Other people were, though. And they weren’t embarrassed to show it either.
On Friday and Saturday nights some of them would put up a tent on the main street. They had painted flames on the tent and written the words: “turn or burn.” Inside the tent you could have a talk about God while you were drunk and horny. They had free coffee too. It was very Christian. Further up the street, outside the disco, they had free beat-downs for all queers.
One of the youngsters in the tent (guitar in hand, God’s words on lips) was the son of Moses Hansen, a Christian fundamentalist preacher, famous for leading demonstrations against Islam and sex. The son was in the class below me in high school, where he led a small army of young Christian fundamentalists who called themselves Jesus Freaks.
Every day they would carry big, wooden crosses around school. During recess they would have prayer meetings in a room, which the school provided for their disposal. They would have big spiritual awakenings with loud music and dancing on the school stage and in the Green Yard and they would shove little notes with bible quotes into our sinful hands when we left school in the afternoon.
If the light takes me…
When I was a teenager I met fundamentalists every day but I never saw a single gay couple. I didn’t hear anyone say the sentence “I’m gay” until I was 17, even though I had heard the question, “Are you gay or what?” regularly all my life. I was older than 20 before I heard words like “punk” or “feminism” for the first time. I don’t think you could find a single person in the entire area who would know what a Gay/Straight Alliance was, but everyone knew what the Christian Study Group was.
Being surrounded by Christians is never fun, and it can be hard to resist when you’re alone and isolated. Nonetheless, I found a way to resist. I became a Satanist.
When the Christian, child-raping religion offered nothing but guilt, shame and hate, I found comfort and strength with Anton LaVey, Alleister Crowley, Marilyn Manson and Leæther Strip.
- One day, while walking home from school, a black van with shaded windows drove up next to me. It drove up on the sidewalk; hit the breaks and the doors opened. Around 10 kids jumped out and surrounded me, holdings big wooden crosses up in front of me. They shouted: “Forsake Satan! Come into the light!”
As a lonely Satanist in a Christian world I spent a lot of time at home in front of my typewriter writing poems, dairies and making secret plans about how to destroy the Christians before they destroyed me. It was one of these plans that made me giggle recently when I looked through the diaries.
Fortunately, I’m less lonely and more allied now, with more wisdom and less respect for authorities, but I can’t help smiling a little when I see how I had the same diversity of tactics approach to things back then as I do now: starting out with understanding, courtesy and dialogue, but not backing away from confrontation and anger if words wouldn’t suffice. However, today I have a different idea of what the if-all-else-fails-tactic is than when I was a Satanist…
Have fun reading my diary:
Anti-Christian journal, 14.9.1999
Problem: young-Christians try to find new supporters in Herning High School using force-christenings and deceit, excessive use of postering, manipulative (and qualitatively bad) entertainment in the Green Yard, self-presentation with wooden crosses. They provoke people into discussions about Christianity and God. Constantly mentioning that the Christian Revolution is coming. Christian propaganda (verbally and written).
Plan A: Talk to principal and demand: freedom of religion is also the freedom to be free from religion. Christian meetings must be voluntary and in closed rooms so you can avoid participation. Posters can only be informative, not indoctrinating. Stop the young-Christian invasion of the high school.
Plan B (if the principal doesn’t stop it): talk to the leader of the young-Christians. Make same demands but in a different tone: No dialogue, no compromises. Don’t discuss (remember: they are the enemy). Be calm, specific, considered and sober. Don’t use violence. Say no more than what’s necessary (they will use it against you). Remember the goal: we don’t want the Christian revolution forced down our throats. Do not expose myself as a Satanist - yet.
Plan C (if negotiations fail): Go to war with the young-Christians. Uniforms, informational flyers, anti-Christian statements as often as possible. Scare tactics.
Plan D (if all else fails): satanic magic.
So what happened?
I don’t remember exactly what happened with the young-Christians, and my diary doesn’t tell. I remember trying to start fistfights with them in the school halls during recess, shoving and disrespecting them, but you know the Christians turn the other cheek.
When I was 18, I left the church officially and made a Crowley-ritual to drive Jesus out of me. Something about crucifying a frog and setting gold on fire while saying spells. I knocked on the principal’s door and talked to him, and as far as I remember, I persuaded him to kick the leader of the Jesus Freaks out of the school.
But obviously, I think the whole ballade with the young-Christians, Satanism and my pompous plan of action, is a bit funny. But it’s also a bit serious. Religious people destroy (queer) lives with their hocus-pocus. Also in Denmark. Also now.
Even today one of my flatmates told me how she was manipulated into a talk about spirituality, and she really opened up, because she thought the people she talked to were doing a survey, like they said they were.
After 20 minutes they asked if they could tell her about their faith and suddenly she realized it had all just been a trick to gain her trust. She asked them to leave her alone and left. She told me she felt like showering afterwards. Like she had been abused. Like they took something from her.
Not long ago, I passed a Christian event by chance in the city hall square in Copenhagen. They were up on stage, microphone in hand, praying for “our borders, our police, our politicians, so they could protect Denmark against the foreign threat.”
When I tried to sabotage the event by shouting “EW!” every time they said something, two gorillas came up to me to try and shut me up. Again, I tried to start a fistfight with them, but you know the Christians turn the other cheek. It’s fucking annoying.
Three good films about Satanism:
Annonce
